Tag Archive: communication


I can’t smile(y) without you

A very short entry this week.

Sometimes, the words just don’t come, and aren’t even hidden behind the white noise of thoughts.

That made me think slightly- are we losing our skill with words?  I’m a huge Douglas Adams fan, his various writings and gentle British humour are surely to be treasured.

As a result, I stumbled across the blog entry and I think I’ll subscribe to it’s theory. Once a week, no smileys.

I’ll try and avoid lol as well. I type It far more than I actually “lol”, as I’m sure we all do!

https://adasociety.wordpress.com/about/

“Can’t smile without you”, Barry Manilow

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Back in black

So, here we are again! I’m going to try and post a weekly blog (again) and hopefully not run out of songs to title them with.

Big year of change coming up and if you follow me on Twitter then you’ll know the news about the twins on the way. I’m sure there will be mention, but it’s not going to be exclusively about them and the experience.

So, week one, just an introductory one.

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”
AC/DC, Back In Black

Do you want the truth…

…Or something beautiful?

One of the suggestions from the postaweek tag last week was “Why did you start blogging?”. Also, a general tweet appeared on my twitter stream from a Journo student friend a few weeks ago with a very similar request of “please share with me the reasons you write”.

So, it seems I should answer this before the universe goes to such extremes as freak cloud formations or to keep asking that question…

When my last relationship ended, one of the things I learned was that I keep my thoughts and feelings inside too much (well, was told, but I was actually listening so I feel I learned it!). Since then I’ve heard from someone different the words “closed book”, had some verbal feedback on my blog of “well I just can’t write as vaguely as you do”, and my best friend has used the phrase “well- it’s JB. Who knows what’s going on there!”

So, the blogging answer is simple- it’s to try and get me into the habit of saying what’s on my mind in a frank and open way. I like that people are reading the witterings I put out there, and feel able to feed back to me. It’s always a challenge to write stuff that I know isn’t just public but that I know people who I know will read, and know about me.

But (and isn’t there always a ‘but’?)

I was asked something completely different this week. What I was asked isn’t really important to this blog, but I gave an honest response (equally personal) and I feel good that I felt able to, and also that I did. The ‘but’ kicks in here in that this progress doesn’t feel good, because it was negative answer to a personal question.

Sometimes you’re making progress, sometimes you’re taking two steps backwards… I think I’m making progress in being able to talk about things, and share my vulnerabilities & feelings, yet it seems that progress in other areas will be slow and rocky at best. Maybe I run my life better with the security that only I really know what I’m feeling, but that’s clearly unhealthy as far as all forms of interpersonal relationships go.

So next time you (whoever you are!) ask me a question, I may respond with lines from Paloma Faith’s song and debut album title:

I can be who you want me to be, but do you want me?
Do you want the truth, or something beautiful?

Barljo

Courtesy of the postaweek2011 tag, I was led to a blog exploring the question of whether to text or call.

Do you prefer to text or call?

Personally, I far prefer texts or emails than phone call. I always thought it was because it felt more techy, futurey, and science-fictiony (they’re all words… Promise!). As Li Li says in her blog, it’s fast and mobile. I also like that I can read it when I’m ready (like when I’ve finished the washing up, or that bit of the ps3 game I’m playing) and that when I text someone I’m not likely to be interrupt something they might be doing. More than anything, I find life easier to deal with by text or email.

I wrote last week about finding social situations tricky (approaching the place where I’d be using flashcards to order coffee, that sort of thing), and that coupled with my dislike of phone calls and personal issues around general first-person interaction has always troubled me. I’ve had trouble being in crowds the last 12 months or so, and I’m happiest at home.

In short, I felt a little bit pathetic both for how I felt and for finding it hard to deal with, when it felt like there were people with ‘real problems’ out there. Now I find out I might be able to apply a label of Social Anxiety Disorder, and that is something of a relief.

No matter that I can communicate, or how well I appear to do it in extreme situations, that doesn’t mean I like doing it! I’m not going to claim that having a label for the situation makes it any better, but it makes me feel more normal, and that in itself is a help and helps me feel more relaxed.

So I apologise if I don’t answer my phone… Just send me (as a very predictable ending if you know this song) a Message In A Bottle. A text would be fine if you’re nowhere near the sea.

Barljo